I noticed that its been getting warmer over the past few days especially in the afternoons. I like sunny weathers. It lightens up my mood.
The latest news requiring my unit was that there would be a change of management but we would stay where we are, doing the same things as before. This implies that I would still be on 8-6, getting to stay out. This is certainly good news for us. No one likes to stay in if given a choice.
Life has been stale recently. Some of my friends are busy with their examinations while the others with their personal life. As for me, I am still serving my army, driving even more regularly then i would preferred. I am aiming to get my 7000km mileage as soon as possible. My tuition slots have been more packed recently due to the start of the Mid-Year Examinations. On some days after work, I would go straight for tuition before returning home in the night. This certainly has made my days more busy but i realised there is still plenty of free time for me to spend. Most of the time, I had to spend it alone as i couldn't find any company.
Despite the fact that i do meet up with my friends on a regular basis, I am not feeling very happy. No doubt, i enjoy their company, with the chance to be myself and have fun, updating each other about our life. However, once the outing ended, the happiness gradually diminishes and i am back to my lonely self.
Perhaps during the secondary school days, we get to meet each other everyday, so much so that it has become part of life. As the secondary school days ended and each of us proceed to higher studies, we meet new friends and due to a clash of times, there were fewer opportunities to meet up. Having said that, I still find my secondary school friends much more closer than my poly ones. I noticed that we used to quarrel and argue much over things in the past. But when it come to now, I find that everyone is just enjoying themselves when there is a outing.
If I have to talk about myself, I have a small family. With me being the only child and my parents having quite a bit of age now, we don't really speak to each other much perhaps due to the generation gap. Unlike many families, I do not have any family day and I seldom get to meet up with my relatives. Whenever I have problems, I could only share with my friends. So much so that, it becomes frustrating, perhaps the fact that i don't even have any family support. Whenever I am free at home, there is nothing for me to do. I do not play or own computer or console games. In short, I just have nothing to do. So much so , that I have to get of out of my home. Sometimes, aimlessly walking around the streets or go for running. I can only do it alone. Everything.
I just hope to be busy, with things to do. Yet, i am constantly searching for it. I don't feel loved or cared. Its not a good feeling.
