my heart juz sank to e bottom..

after getting e tixs for e concert yesterday.. i received e notification of my driving course this afternoon and my course will commence on e 3rd of August.. I dun know wat to say.. i dun feel like typing further.. my worse fears juz came true.. i dun know wat will happen, but i know i will try means n ways to attend that concert.. even if its at e expense of malingering.. i am juz so disappointed.. after waiting for so long n even have to worry abt how to lie my way thru to attend.. how can i enjoy e concert wif so many worries? but i really hope to attend.. this could be e 1st n only time i'll get to see her performing.. i wan to support her..
army really sucks.. fucked it.. I dun know how to say this to her.. she is not supposed to know my pain..

Pick a place. I'll be there, I promise...

Happy 21th Bday Handy! haha.. celebrated Handy's bday yesterday watching Pirates of Caribbean 2 followed by Fish N Co. Been waiting for part 2 to come out ever since i watch e 1st one 3 years ago.. Capt Jack Sparrow.. haha.. there's juz something abt him which attracts e crowd.. So glad that this latest sequel didn't flatter to deceive and i am definitely going to watch part 3 next year.

Halfway before e show starts.. there was a trailer about this movie The Lake House.. seems very interesting.. 2 person; one living in e future n one living in e past..keeping in contact thru this mailbox by the house and subsequently falling in love.. but one thing.. they've never met before and it seems they can't find a way to meet each other.. actually i was so intrigued by this trailer that i really do plan to catch this show.. cos i wanna know if they will end up meeting each other.. missing someone is skin deep.... But who would wan to watch a romantic love story wif me? haha.. maybe i'll asking e gang..

Dinner at Fish N Co was fantastic.. nice food, great drinks coupled wif live singings.. got a Black Forest Cake for Handy n we sang e Bday song for him with him standing on a chair with sparkles.. so cute.. haha..

We had a couple of pool after dinner n went home after.. Guess, it a nice outing afterall..

Its pretty much decided i am going to get e tixs.. n i was supposed to meet to get e tixs today.. but i ended up leaving late from office..so e meet up was cancelled.. fancy meeting at 6.30 when i am knocking off at 6.20.. haix.. I felt bad for i was e one who wanted to meet up to get e tixs.. n i was e one who couldnt make it in e end.. I hope she is not upset over it.. haix..

1st wk..

Today marks e end of my first week at MTC. Life's here is even more slack as compared to AFC's. My bosses are always not around.. hanging around e whole day at the warrant officer's mass or juz disappear and comes back when knock off time is near. Really wayang.. e only siong part was as i had mentioned before.. getting to my camp.. after doing some researches, i realised in order to arive punctually by 0745, i need to :

1. Wake up by 0540

2. Leave my home by 0613

3. Reach e bus stop opposite Chinatown Point by 0630

4. Take bus 190 which comes around 0631-0637

5. Alight at bus stop beside B.Panjang Plaza

6. 25mins walk to MTC

Haix.. its really crazy..then i realised i can cut down e 25mins walk to 15mins.. provided i took another bus by 0625.. which means waking up even earlier.. maybe i will try that someday.. haha.. today, i almost got my " dead letter "

My boss received notication for driving course.. upon reading e email.. they realised that e person mentioned was not me.. after some double checking.. they concluded that i will have to wait slightly longer.. if tt notification was for me.. i would have to start my course on e 28th of July.. phew.. however, i heard of e driver mentioning that they already know when my course will start.. and its could be on e 1st wk of aug..

e worse thing was, as i mentioned earlier.. e date for e wrong notication indicated a Friday.. which means e course could start on anyday i am only considered free to attend e concert if i am still a lobo on e 4th of Aug which is e Fri of the wk where e concert will start..

haix.. i hope they are juz spectaculating.. I would have been SUPER SUAY if it started on that week after waiting so long for her concert to start... OH MAN.... e earliest i would wan my course to start would be on e 7th of aug.. at least by then.. e concert would have ended.. i guess that's my birthday wish ba.. i just need a little more time as a lobo.. haix..


" 10 more working days to pass.. come on.. "

MTC..

Today's day 2 in my new unit... MTC.. Mindef Transport Coy.. from e name, one can roughly guess that my unit provides transportation to ppl workin in e army la... Saw a couple of new platoon mates.. do drivers have this one kind of style ? cos most of them look rather big sized and bengish in character..but they are very friendly ppl.. very welcoming.. i cant explain this well.. its something which u can only experience..i shall juz put it as they are very sociable.

For e time being, i will be staying out till my driving course starts.. e journey to camp everyday is so troublesome.. its so hard to reach my camp.. but my mates all told me life's really good in MTC.. its could be more siong if i were in other driving unit.. tts perhaps one of e consolation ba..haha..

N yea.. saw Yk followed by Bs at tiong on mon..diao.. so qiao.. n i was also meeting yan on that day..we tried tiong market since she haven been there so a long time..tts when i saw BS wif his family.. eat also nv share wif us ah.. hahaha...

I wanna sing K someday.. but everyone's so busy these days..haix..

i like this song by Tank.. its called : 给我你的爱

等待一点一滴你对我感到安心
感觉朋友关系有了新的默契
便利商店里谁也买不到
我们最想要的东西
只握在喜欢的人手上
给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来
给我你的爱手拉着手不放开
就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸发
只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱
我的最大幸褔是发现了我爱你
灵魂有了意义用每一天珍惜
便利商店里谁也买不到
我们最想要的东西
只握在喜欢的人手上
给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来
给我你的爱手拉着手不放开
就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸发
只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱
雨和天空也有相爱的可能
望着你的微笑情不自禁
给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来
给我你的爱手拉着手不放开
就算地球毁灭来不及流泪
只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱

if...

Went out wif wj and don on sat to PS.. spent e day walking around n ended up playing CS.. its been some time since we guys played.. and we got owned by bots too...its quite amazing as we used to own them instead..haha..well i realised..e teenagers now and my generation then belongs to 2 dif worlds... e things they do, they way they protrait as a whole..its totally different.. they get exposed to more stuffs.. perhaps due to e rapid development in technology..

As i am approaching my 20 soon, i do wonder if i am still consider as a teenager? e transition from teenage lifes to adulthood is juz starting.. or perhaps it has started long ago.. how do one define maturity? i guess.. its still early for me to understand..

I realised.. i still lacks confidence.. though i try to protrait as though i am a happy person who loves his life..but deep down, i felt hollow.. i am not exactly knowledgable..clever or even charismatic..my flaws overwhelmed my strengths..perhaps i have no strengths at all.. i doubted i have achieved anything significant in my 20 years of life.. I am a sensitive person who minds how ppl see me as a whole..I need assurance.. i am juz so insecured.. ppl who are confident would nv think of these..

I am always searching for motivation.. as i think it gives e strength to overcome any difficulties encountered when i am reaching my goals.. however these days i started wondering.. motivation is perhaps juz a booster.. giving a headstart to reach for your goals..even when one has motivation but he does not spend any efforts to achieve his goals.. he still ends up failing in the end... to achieve something whether one like it or anot....its still boils down to a person's effort in making it a success...

E walk home from parklane juz shagged me out.. i felt my knees giving off.. i am feeling sick now.. fatigue.. yea.. I hope i would recover soon..e constant travelling and walking has definitely taken a toll on me... its time i stopped whinning about being lonely n spend my days wasting time..

Tomorrow is e start of my life in a new unit.. this time round.. i have to make it..

" Why make yourself unhappy when you know you can be happy? "

Posting Blues

I got my posting as a driver today and would be reporting to my new unit on next mon.. this is probably my last stay out week.. no doubt i will certainly miss this kind of life.. but i guess all good things must come to an end. haha.. I am not particularly delighted that i got posted as a driver.. surely, this is a technical vocation.. i will be learning skills on how to control and maneuver vehicles, knowing the road signs etc etc.. but i find it meaningless to be driving people and stores around for two years.. NS is so meaningless now.. haix..

Driving.. i had wanted to learn it during my NS lifes.. but little would i know that it would be wat i learn when serving my time in SAF.. perhaps i am lucky.. for learning driving is not cheap.. Guess, i cant learn wif BS now.. but should nothing goes wrong.. We would get our driving licence someday right?

For the past few days.. i have been thinking...n flashes of those past memories just came up.. I remembered my poly days where i am always late for the first lesson.. and how my clique frequents the Jap food and Mee store in FC1.. those period of time where we were practically watching one movie every week when doing our FYP at NTU.. I miss that life.. though i must honestly say, the friends i made in poly aren't that close with my gang that i met in secondary school.. but i do miss those poly days too.. I guess its the life...freedom..

And my gang of friends..i miss them too.. haha.. but i must say we still meet up quite frequently..I cant imagine life without them..I love the days we spent outside makaning.. ordering food and sharing them..tok kok and laugh around.. and so much more..

"Though, they were juz small gestures.. but i was touched..My wish didnt came true...now it all depends on how e course will be.. I am disappointed.. i juz hope i can make it that nite..out of e sudden, my free time juz vanished... will i get to see you soon again?"

Someday..

Once again..e weekends are here again... spent e fri meeting up wif fred,pye,wl and yk at tiong.. I was late.. haha.. all becos of that sgt-who-act-like-bigf***-.. we ate at mac.. later, we took a walk at e pasar malam but it was disappointing however as there was nothing much to see...yk left afterwards and we decided to catch a movie.. but nothing to watch also!! y is sg so boring these days.. nth to do.. nth to see.. nth... ? or maybe cos tbp is a neighbourhood shopping mall.. so theres nth much to do too..

so in e end..we settle at Kopitiam and tok kok, slurping at ice kacangs...I realised, ever since NS become part of my life.. there's always a common topic among us guys.. haha.. army lives..
sometimes when taking cabby, e driver would share his army lifes with me.. ya.. i know e older generations has endured a hell lot more than us now..and i respect wat u all have done.

The lifeguards got their postings today.. while e OOTs are still stucked in PLC.. congrats to e lifeguards.. fu**ed off and dun stay here and create trouble for us.. I dun wan to mention wat they've done.. but us, OOTs are e ppl suffering from their childish and nonsensical behaviours..

wJ juz called.. yea.. meeting him later to pass him his tickets.. hmm.. 2 tickets.. bro, endure.. every wk pass means one step closer to completing e course.. am sure u can make it de.. as for e rest of e days.. i would be probably slacking.. i need to find something to do..else.. everyday would be like in PLC.. damn meaningless.. e worst is having to spend it doing nothing.. not.. its not that i dun wan to do anything.. but theres nth for me to do.. 5 days a week.. 9+ hours a day..

"I am not worried about my posting.. for i know.. i wouldnt be staying as a lobo for 2 years.. yet, staying as one is e safest chance for me to be free on that particular night.. i really hope to go..juz one more month at PLC.. and its enough for me.."

Graduation

Today is graduation day!! yay.. invited pie over to watch cos got chio bu ma.. ya.. but really thanks him sia.. if not very sian also.. its nice to see my course mates after so long.. many of them has started their ns lifes.. but its still a long way to go.. but all e best guys!

Don came later.. and took some nice pics wif pie's cam.. e presentation was damn long.. waited very long before finally got to collect my certy.. GESS principal Mr. Ngiam came and ended up meeting him at the VIP reception where we took a couple of pics.. diao.. felt rather honoured cos that award is really not big deal or wat one ba...Actually, I don't know him at all... e principal during my sec sch lives was Mr. Goh..diao..

Had lunch at Swensen's.. Fish & Chips.. lol.. think its very nice la.. dun know wat else to eat also.. Later went to watch Superman Returns wif pye, ben, long, wc and edwin.. not too bad but rather predictable ending.. Superman is damn fit and he looks good sia... think i sound gay.. but really he's handsome..

Night came and we went to cine to find Hoong Sheng.. e hotdog seller.. haha.. not bad sia... he's looking damn cool these days and i brought one black pepper hotdog from him.. haha.. and dinner's at food republic.. lots of food to choose sia..

Here at some pics taken during e ceremony..


- My Course Mates -


- Bros - Mr. Don , 2SG Pye , Me


dsdsdsdddsdsdsdsdssds- Me , Ailing ( course mate ) -

a simple reflection

Just got back from camp... haix.. think i am going to fall sick soon.. so dizzy and lethargic now.. I almost fall into e drain this morning while walking to guardroom.. haha.. anyway, today e warrants officers wanted to see us OOTs swim again.. now, they are lacking lifeguards and they wanna give us another chance.. sadly, they realised that we juz couldn't make it.. but suggested we joined e PTIs where hopefully our swimming would improve and when the next course starts, they would do e selection again... else.. its goodbye to AFC..

Swimming with PTIs would be complete madness! but guess i'll juz go whenever possible then.. better than slacking in e store.. However, e chances of passing e selection will not be high.. i know it.. cos i am e person who is swimming.. i know my standard...

Guess, i will be stucked in AFC for probably another 2 weeks.. or even 1 mth.. sianz.. and Mr. Haril today reminded us to clear that one day off CO has given us for helping out in e shifting.. so far, we guys has decided to take it on next Mon.. another free day.. its rather pointless since i am doing nothing in camp too... but at least, i can spend that day more wisely.. perhaps.. a trip to e library?

------------------------
寂寞习惯 变成自然
我走在大街上 整夜车灯辉煌
只剩思念 忽明忽暗
不再那么喧嚷 却不代表已释放
------------------------

Hello~

wOw..its been ages since i wrote something.. to anyone reading this, welcome to my blog! haha.. its my 1st post here.. life's been pretty slack ever since POP. Got posted as a SAF Lifeguard but OOT on e 1st day cos i failed e selection. Its dumb, really... and ever since I've been reporting back to camp daily and doing sai kang for the ppl.

In case, u wonder wat is sai kang ? well.. its basically " shit job" when translated.. yar.. helping out in carrying and moving stuffs, doing admin works etc etc.. My unit is undergoing a shifting of HQ.. and there were loads of stuffs to be moved around.. Fancy spending e whole day shifting the cardboards, tables and chairs up and down the buliding..yes! And its been so for e past 2 weeks..

Well, there are five of us OOT .. at least its not too bad when u have companions rite? haha.. but i wondered when will this last.. how long will we get our reposting.. for i dread the days spent in camp doing sai kang or slacking.. to run down the clock.. yet at e same time.. its not too bad too.. booking out everyday.. no tekaning.. no one to care abt u..

As for now, everyday spent in AFC could well be my last day.. yet i hope i will stay till after National Day.. so that i can make it to...