Went out wif wj and don on sat to PS.. spent e day walking around n ended up playing CS.. its been some time since we guys played.. and we got owned by bots too...its quite amazing as we used to own them instead..haha..well i realised..e teenagers now and my generation then belongs to 2 dif worlds... e things they do, they way they protrait as a whole..its totally different.. they get exposed to more stuffs.. perhaps due to e rapid development in technology..
As i am approaching my 20 soon, i do wonder if i am still consider as a teenager? e transition from teenage lifes to adulthood is juz starting.. or perhaps it has started long ago.. how do one define maturity? i guess.. its still early for me to understand..
I realised.. i still lacks confidence.. though i try to protrait as though i am a happy person who loves his life..but deep down, i felt hollow.. i am not exactly knowledgable..clever or even charismatic..my flaws overwhelmed my strengths..perhaps i have no strengths at all.. i doubted i have achieved anything significant in my 20 years of life.. I am a sensitive person who minds how ppl see me as a whole..I need assurance.. i am juz so insecured.. ppl who are confident would nv think of these..
I am always searching for motivation.. as i think it gives e strength to overcome any difficulties encountered when i am reaching my goals.. however these days i started wondering.. motivation is perhaps juz a booster.. giving a headstart to reach for your goals..even when one has motivation but he does not spend any efforts to achieve his goals.. he still ends up failing in the end... to achieve something whether one like it or anot....its still boils down to a person's effort in making it a success...
E walk home from parklane juz shagged me out.. i felt my knees giving off.. i am feeling sick now.. fatigue.. yea.. I hope i would recover soon..e constant travelling and walking has definitely taken a toll on me... its time i stopped whinning about being lonely n spend my days wasting time..
Tomorrow is e start of my life in a new unit.. this time round.. i have to make it..
" Why make yourself unhappy when you know you can be happy? "
